Love. Like. Delight. Joy. Enjoy. Cherish. Love. Love. Love. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.
LOVE.
I want to love my children. I don’t just want to be their “trainer”, their teacher, their food preparer, clothes washer…I want to honestly, genuinely, AFFECTIONATELY LOVE my children. To DELIGHT in their uniqueness, to HURT in their sorrows, to join in their PLAY…
And yet, I feel like my day is so filled and focused on the tasks of life. Get dressed. Eat breakfast. Clear the table. Make them do chores (after all, they need to be responsible!). Keep them busy while I do MY chores. Discipline. Correct. Train. Say, “No!” so they are not spoiled (besides, it’s “good” for them). Feed them. Put them to bed. Start again.
While there is nothing inherently wrong with this…it’s missing my heart. My affection! My DELIGHT.
“For the LORD delights in the son whom he LOVES!”
Somewhere along the line, I have lost my delight in motherhood. My LOVE! Instead it has turned into a task…a chore.
Lord, renew my heart. Rekindle the JOY of mothering. That our days would be filled with LAUGHTER, DANCING, CHILDLIKE pleasure, COMMUNION, with shared sorrows…I often pray for change in my children…now I pray for a change in ME. That I could lead them in the OVERWHELMING JOY and ADVENTURE of knowing the God of this universe, Savior, and LOVER of our souls!
CHANGE ME ~ I PRAY!
LOVE.
I want to love my children. I don’t just want to be their “trainer”, their teacher, their food preparer, clothes washer…I want to honestly, genuinely, AFFECTIONATELY LOVE my children. To DELIGHT in their uniqueness, to HURT in their sorrows, to join in their PLAY…
And yet, I feel like my day is so filled and focused on the tasks of life. Get dressed. Eat breakfast. Clear the table. Make them do chores (after all, they need to be responsible!). Keep them busy while I do MY chores. Discipline. Correct. Train. Say, “No!” so they are not spoiled (besides, it’s “good” for them). Feed them. Put them to bed. Start again.
While there is nothing inherently wrong with this…it’s missing my heart. My affection! My DELIGHT.
“For the LORD delights in the son whom he LOVES!”
Somewhere along the line, I have lost my delight in motherhood. My LOVE! Instead it has turned into a task…a chore.
Lord, renew my heart. Rekindle the JOY of mothering. That our days would be filled with LAUGHTER, DANCING, CHILDLIKE pleasure, COMMUNION, with shared sorrows…I often pray for change in my children…now I pray for a change in ME. That I could lead them in the OVERWHELMING JOY and ADVENTURE of knowing the God of this universe, Savior, and LOVER of our souls!
CHANGE ME ~ I PRAY!
3 comments:
I always think of you when I'm feeling this way. I want to love my children too! Thanks for this wonderful post. I'm sure I'll revisit it :)
Oh, Mel. I think every mother has felt this way. Especially right before and for a long while after you have a baby. The fatigue of adding a life to your family makes it hard to feel delight and joy as often as we want...even those positive emotions require energy, and sometimes that's what we mothers are lacking. You are a WONDERFUL mother. Truly. Stunning. Not that God can't make you more--of course that's all He wants to do, and He will answer your prayer. But in the meantime--while you grow--take a deep breath and steal a moment to see what a marvelous, marvelous job you're doing. And also, Selah is beautiful, as was your birth story!! Thanks for the inspiring-ness of it all. :)
Amen Melody! I've been praying the same thing, that I would change so that my kids can change!
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